cauterizedcutting you frommy heart is likelaying my handsamong glowingcoals until my fingersblacken andcurlbut I can dothis if it's theonly wayto let yougo
zenithIm tooold todream offoreverall I wantnowis youone dayat atime
StyxI no longer pray for death.As my muted heart settles into measured channels neither hot nor cold,I find that it matters not which river I swim.
indelibleyou lieimprinted onmy memoryas fixed andbright as thedog starto sailorslost ondark seas
reboundknowingI'm a fooldoesn'tmake mewant youless
devotedhelloyoull be glad to knowthat I hardly everthink of youanymoremy nights areno longer sleepless,my eyes red-rimmedand puffyIm over youat last, emptinessa tired relieffrom painyes, I dontmiss youanymore but my number hasnt changed if you ever need to reach me
a town in oklahomaa tornado ripped us in half last night eight of us dead, thirty missing(all that means is they havent found the bodies yet) volunteers and dogs search the rubble of what were homes yesterday today, nothings left but mud-splattered pieces of which littlewill be salvaged except by the looters when those we love die, one can find no energy to sort through broken trinkets spread across soggy fields, hanging in whats left &
rawtake backyour pretty lovewordstuck themunder yourtonguekiss meuntil my lips bloomwith bruisesscrape me rawwith yourblistering skinand scratchthis itch untilit bleeds
heroesthey lived long livesfilled with hard work,fried chicken, andheart attackshe gambledevery day of his lifeand never misseda house paymentshe crochetedand wallpaperedand never missedThe Price Is Rightthey survivedthe depressionMinnesota wintersa lost babyand for decadesstill smiled whenthe other enteredthe roomno one told themthat people dontlove foreveranymore
talk to mehad I known the lasttime you called thatwe would neverspeak again, I wouldhave talked longer,kept you on the linebabbling about the weather,asking inane questionsjust to hear your voiceproduce the answers
forgive and forgethe beggedher forgivenessand she promisedto give itas soon asshe forgothis name
faded polaroidsvoices echo downthe hall like playgroundmemories and schoolpictures with bad haircutsI listen to thoseindistinct murmursand stare into the past,remembering whenlife was as simpleas bologna sandwichesand names spelled inalphabet soupanimal crackers roaredin our hands untilwe bit off their headsand made them be quietsaltines and grape juiceserved as communionunder the big oak, Godwatching from the branchesin a world drawn inblack and white whenlove was love and wewerent allowed to hate(for fear of damnation)I can smell those days,taste the sweatysummer afternoonsrunning through dandelionsand crab grass, tattooingour hands with polk berriesmama making us scrubwith Lava soap, the bluestains stouter thanour stinging skin underits gray gritnight wind scrapedbranches against thewindow and my brotherran from his dark roomto the safety of sisterswith a double bedthree little bodiescrammed together in thesweltering heat, quietas mice so brother
FeelMy thoughts have been misfiled into subcategoriesThat my mind can't seem to ever remember.So many emotions to feel but I feel numb today.Can't feel my heart breaking nor can I feel the acid tears burning.Rolling down past my see through smile.The fakeness of it all sickens me to the core.I smile today just to hide beind the sadness thatHas etched its way into my bitter heart.I walk in the rain to hide the tears that fallWho would notice the difference anyways?Mascara and eye liner running wild, mixing with the saltiness.My raccoon eyes I'd like to call them.Hiding behind a facade, behind the sadness inside my eyes.The smile tells the lies but the eyes tell the truth.No happiness here, it checked out last night.
DaysThere were days when I got lost behind the moons eyes, the suns smiles, and the clouds tears.Days where the wind crept up from behind and whipped my hair around my neck suffocating me.There were days when I got lost within the days light and the nights dark.The stars were painted black like my heart disappearing, blending into nothingness.There were days I drowned in the waters depths, and lived inside concrete walls.Meshing together light and dark; becoming one.There were days my body was weak from fighting, my mind strong from cartwheel thoughts racing.My mind running a marathon as my body falls to pieces becoming dust that gets whipped away by the same winds that suffocated me.
evaporatehe doesnt need me anymorebut would not hurt me by saying soso I will clear a path for himby pretending not to careuntil he forgets to miss me
dissemblerwhen you sayyou dont needanyoneyoure a liar(we all need someone)what youreally meanis that youdont need me
inflamedour bodieswrithed ina month-longwet dreamfrom whichwe awokesuddenlyand withregret
meant to bewhen I went outto find my fateI never expectedits faceto be yours
Sand Of My HeartYour words were etched into the sands of my heartBut the water from my eyes, the salty tearsWashed them away and your words mean nothing to me now.
Just RightYou held my hand just right and we fitted together like hand to glove.You held me just right and we fitted together like fitted sheet to bed.You kissed me just right and we fitted together like peanut butter to mouth.You loved me just right and we fitted together...No words left to describe that four lettered word.I love you is 8 letters long but so is bullshit.I guess togetherness was over rated just like love.
Once Upon A TimeBeing in love with someone who does notFeel the same is hard to say the least.What's worse is once upon a time"I love you" was real and true.How do three little words get flipped aroundTo "I hate you?"Thought we were strong, solid, and sound.No one could touch us and the love we shared.Overnight going from loved to hated.From girlfriend to just friends.In love with a man who is so heartless.Nothing should be felt for himBut the past looms up at meAnd I love him just as much as once upon a time.Bliss of heaven turned to agony of hell.One extreme to anotherBut it's okay.I'll just lay here and suffocate on my heartAnd words left unsaid that are now stuck inside my throat.
Library HeartYou checked out my heart like an old used library book.The one on the bottom shelf with a thick layer of dust across its surface.It was from a lack of acknowledgment, a lack of caring, and a lack of understanding.My heart had pages filled with dispair and rage but you took the time to read between the lines.To see past the sorted, misguided past that inked my pages.You took the time to know the story, to memorize the words that screamedAnd the wounds that still oozed fresh blood, sweat, and tears.You checked out my heart with a smile, an excitement dancing inside your eyes.Hands trembling waiting to turn back the cover and see my inards.My lovely heart bloody, dusty from the abuse of being pushed aside.The edges torn and miscolored turning yellow like the chipping paint of the library's walls.A simplicity to my words, and complex realm to my heart.A maze of memories and a whirl wind of thoughts that never stop but just continue onward.You checked out my heart and returned
It's A Game, A Dance, A SongIt's a game really, with each of us playing our partI'll hide, try and find me if you careYou ask the questions and I'll dodge around the answersCat and mouse, catch me if you canIt's a dance really, back and forth we will flit aboutNever settling in one spot too longWe've danced this dance so many times, know every moveEach step is so carefully placedIt's a song you know, each of us a different noteEach just another chord on the guitarIt's when the notes come together that the magic happensThey're no longer a sound but music
Burgundy Heart and Glass LungsMy fingertips are pressed against the inky folds of your skybut you were colorless when I met you.Troubled moons become hung overon the pot-bellied lies you once condoned.We watched it rise over the skies;you painted in deep glasses of burgundy.Once I asked you,"Why burgundy?"and you answered with a rare smile and,"Because it reminds me of you."And then I wondered why Ishould be remembered at all.Sometimes you would look at meand smile one of those quirkyyou-don't-know-what-I'm-thinkingsmilesand I would return the glanceand reply with aI-love-you-forever-and-a-dayand-I-wish-you-love-me-toosmile.We took the tails of cometsand added your tears to themso they would shine brighter than any sun.Then, you asked, Whats forever like?I couldnt answer, because I was living it.I stuffed my skin full ofyour dying sighs and watchedthem twinkle beneath my lips;You docked my eyelashes with half-formed truths;I saw through those lies and loved you
Replace myselfI want to openup this notebookand turn myselfinto something else.I want to write abouthow colourful the leaveshave become and abouthow magically that sunsetblossomed yesterday evening.I want to saythat I'm happyand write poemsabout how greatit feels to bein love.I want to scream outthat I'm at least contentwith the way Im livingmy life. That I wouldn'tchange for anyoneor anything.I want to write myself lies.I want to believe them.
Being an air force girlfriendBeing an air force girlfriend is hardespecially during those long nightsyou know, the oneswhere nothing seems to be going rightthat's when I miss you the mostit get so bad sometimes that I lose my mindsometimes talking to you doesn't helpbut I'd never consider leavingbecause even though it's hardI wouldn't have it any other wayI plan on being an air force wifeyep, I'm in it for the long run
Happiness Is FakeEvery smile you give pains my heartFor I can't stand seeing you happy.Every tear I shed makes me smileFor I can't stand seeing myself happy.
survivinghe blames the Mexicans for his present unemploymentbut I can smell the booze from five feet awayat 3:00 on a Tuesday afternoon