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Submitted on
December 2, 2008
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some people burn
so brightly that
they flame out
too soon

as if their frail
physicalities house
a double portion
of soul

and this life
simply can’t
contain
them
:heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsebleikvold:
sebleikvold Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009
This is great! It's really true too....I've seen it happen......

Check out my poetry sometime I would love to have you critique it [link]
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:iconthe-mighty-pillow:
the-mighty-pillow Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh the ending!

Amazing! :heart:
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :hug:
Reply
:iconejectionletter:
ejectionletter Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
i think sometimes life cannot contain any of our explosive souls.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Perhaps that's why it's so hard sometimes...
Reply
:iconfailureatitsfinest:
FailureAtItsFinest Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2009
'as if their frail
physicalities house
a double portion
of soul'

wow....that's amazing, and, for once, im speechless.
:hug:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much. I rather like this one myself. :hug:
Reply
:iconkeraness:
Keraness Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2009
Ooh, Cindy...! :faint: :heart:

It's so true. I love how you've taken a well-known quote ("Only the good die young") and made it unique. 'double portion of soul' is great. :heart:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much, Kera. I'm glad you like it. :hug:
Reply
:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2008
"a double portion of soul"

What a great phrase! In fact the 2nd stanza as a whole is what I keep coming back to. Very, very nice.

This poem is like a thought or the beginning of a conversation. On one hand it makes me think on my own about what you've said, and on the other hand it makes me want to hear more of what you think! Big impact for so few (but well chosen) words. :nod:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Julie. I had tremendous problems with this one. This is actually the second write. The first one was sooo bad and two or three times longer, so I boiled it down to just the essentials. Glad you like it. Thanks. :hug:
Reply
:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008
You're welcome :D It's hard to boil things down to the essentials isn't it? You got it right though!
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, boiling is tough sometimes. This is less than half its original length, so I'm glad it works. Thanks again. :hug:
Reply
:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2008   Writer
like how geniuses are always taken early.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, I thought so, too.
Reply
:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2008   Writer
it seems so unfair.
Reply
:iconhectatenemesis:
HectateNemesis Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2008
i love the second stanza
the contrast of the weak human body with the power of soulflesh (i am being poetic here) is gorgeous
and almost religious
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
What a beautiful comment. Thank you. :hug:
Reply
:iconmutedillusion:
MutedIllusion Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2008
This is wonderful.
I loved it. :+favlove:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Dora. :hug:
Reply
:iconmelanophrionsa:
Melanophrionsa Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconfurcifer07:
Furcifer07 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008   Photographer
I love this. It's so simple but the point that it puts across is so abrupt and to the point that it really makes you step back and say, "WOW."
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much for the kind comments. :hug:
Reply
:iconfurcifer07:
Furcifer07 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008   Photographer
ur welcome :D
Reply
:iconmalandante:
Malandante Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Tis so true
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconprosaic-scriptor:
Prosaic-Scriptor Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
So very true.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:nod:
Reply
:iconatbarnett:
atbarnett Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008
So good...
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Ann. :hug:
Reply
:iconatbarnett:
atbarnett Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008
:) Welcome!
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008   Writer
Very true, I love the simple haunting beauty of the last stanza. It doesn't comfort, but it seems there's something right in the understanding of it, the seeing them for who they are at least.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
I think your comments are better than my poems... thank you, sweetheart. :hug:
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008   Writer
Not at all, and comments are only subsidiaries of the original piece after all.
Reply
:iconsinopsis:
sinopsis Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008
I think the romantic poets would mostly agree with you... even I would agree that this is a very realistic sentiment.

How ever I would also offer the comforting view that this opinion of the so called "tragically flawed" should not be fatal. The world is, I believe, ultimately a beautiful place... but concepts of ugliness are too often forced upon us, and in a way that feels inescapable.

Rage rage against the dying of the light.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
I love the way you put that. I, too, believe the world is ultimately beautiful if we don't let false things blind us to it.

Thanks for the lovely comment. :hug:
Reply
:iconk-sajid:
K-Sajid Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008
I feel like this poem's a dedication to someone, but I could be wrong. Either way, really good work =) very true.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
You're right, in fact, that I wrote it for someone. You're very perceptive. :hug:
Reply
:iconottersandsky:
ottersandsky Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
This is so true. This life cannot contain them. I love thaPr
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Katie. :heart:
Reply
:iconangeliclight:
AngelicLight Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
amazing :o I love how you can bring words to life
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
That's so kind of you. Thanks. :hug:
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:iconparisbound-11:
parisbound-11 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
one word: wow.

oops, I guess that was three....oh no, now it has been 15!!! but you get my point, don't you? (22) :D
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
I love wow (even if it takes twenty-two words to say it!). Thanks. :hug:
Reply
:iconparisbound-11:
parisbound-11 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
yep! And it is the truth. that was amazing!
Reply
:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
:D #41
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:w00t:
Reply
:iconandromedaii:
AndromedaII Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
Very true. I can see that clearly. It's a beautiful portrayal of something I already feel. :hug: You're writing is soooo wonderful.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much, Sirrah. I've had this idea before but I couldn't think how to put it. It finally came to me. :hug:
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