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I smooth a wrinkle
out of my skirt and
remember a time you
pressed knots out of
my back.

But that was long ago
when my skin
ran moist with love
and your hands gleamed
wet with me.
:heart:
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Hello Cindy

This poem is a perfect vignette. The second stanza expresses just the right degree of laconic regret. :hug:

Further enlargement belongs in the reader's mind.

There is another possibility that you might consider (for another occasion perhaps), and that is writing with the pronoun "she". This transposition could lead you to an alternative way of understanding this fleeting material?
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Alec. I'm glad you like it. I rather like it this way myself. :hug:

I'm not so good with that third person; I need to work on it. :heart:
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:icon1001g:
1001G Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
:icongrin--plz:
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:aww:
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:icon1001g:
1001G Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
hello cindy, spend all your money?
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Sure did. It was fun, too! :w00t:

My sister's shopping is completely done! :clap:
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:icon1001g:
1001G Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
and its not even thanksgiving....fantastic
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, now I have to wrap them all...
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:icon1001g:
1001G Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
:rofl: im sure she would love to help you.......
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Actually, no... :rofl:
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(1 Reply)
:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2008
A tiny little snapshot...just like the fleeting thoughts that surface unexpectedly and then are gone. I like it! :aww:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yes. A lot of my poems are those fleeting thoughts.

Thanks, Julie. :hug:
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:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2008
You capture them well! :glomp:
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:iconkrystyll-marik:
Krystyll-Marik Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008
Small, but this is still a good poem. ^^
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :hug:
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:iconkrystyll-marik:
Krystyll-Marik Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2008
:glomp:
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:iconcrimson-regret:
crimson-regret Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008
When I iron, I think of my mother standing naked in the living room fiercely slamming the iron on my dad's favorite sweater.

I don't iron much anymore.

Love this. I love that you can use so few words to make so much. Your poetry is greater than the sum of its parts.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my, that must have been...uncomfortable. I'm so sorry. :hug:

Thank you very much. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008   Writer
I quite like this, I agree with the above comments though about it reading a little like it's building to something. Though ideas for extending is easier said than done.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm...I'm going to have to think about it, but it seemed done to me. I'm going to have to read this again. :)
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:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008   Writer
I don't think it's not done, so much as it seems ripe with potential for more. I do like it how it is, I think it works as it is.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
That's a lovely way to put it. Thanks, Jamie. :hug:
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:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2008   Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconathazagoraphobias:
Athazagoraphobias Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
This one seems to end a bit soon for me, but it still is a wonderful piece. :D
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
You're the second person to say that. Maybe I need to try to expand it though I haven't a clue how...

Thanks, Twi. :hug:
Reply
:iconpetertbexley:
PeterTBexley Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008
You have captured perfectly how those complete memories come welling up with a fairly trivial cue
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Peter. :hug:
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:iconwhoapony:
whoapony Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008
Perfect Cindy. Sad but true
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :hug:
Reply
:iconandromedaii:
AndromedaII Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008
:heart:
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:iconmiarath:
Miarath Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008   General Artist
Well-done Cindy. :heart: :rose:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconmiarath:
Miarath Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2008   General Artist
:hug:
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:iconloveinfernal:
LoveInfernal Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
if only we could iron out the memories
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Wouldn't that be nice?
Reply
:iconptgreat:
PTGreat Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008
Sexy but sad poem :heart:
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :)
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:iconptgreat:
PTGreat Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Professional Writer
Delicious...
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Brendan. :hug:
Reply
:iconpraytell:
praytell Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008
mmmm, cindy.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yum...thanks, Chris. :hug:
Reply
:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008
And that time may be again. :heart:
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Wouldn't that be lovely?
Reply
:iconlatul1pe:
LaTul1pe Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008
"But that was long ago "

If only it has a happier ending... :( :hug:
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:hug::hug::hug:
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
You're a teacher? Wow, I didn't know teachers could have these things. Well, I know teachers couldn't have them from my High School, but maybe college is different.

Okay, on to your piece. I love it. It's that simple. You are close to one of my favorites here on DA.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Teachers aren't so different from other people, I guess. :aww:

Thanks very much. That's so kind of you. :hug:
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
You know, I've always felt like teachers are better than us students. It just seems like that's the way it's suppose to be unless you become a teacher yourself. Although, I learned that I am a teacher too, because people actually like my writing. Besides that, I also teach my son, and it's a great feeling.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Teachers aren't better than students, just a little older. We just never could get away from school, I guess. :D

Having children makes us all teachers, doesn't it? :aww:
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