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I looked for you
for a long time.

In crowds, on
buses, at bustling
football games,
I sought.

I combed
the personals,
scoured the
internet,
turned over
some rocks.

I crawled through
dingy bars, sat alone
on mall benches,
and even pretended
to find religion.

My heart leapt
when I thought
I’d found you
(but I was wrong)
and then again
and again.

But I didn’t
find you,

and, finally, my
aging heart
began to contract
into stone,
the cooling lava
of wild, futile
hopes unmet.

I sit now
in a quiet place
and weep amid
my dead dreams
from eyes gone
blind with
searching.
C.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconprettycrazy:
PrettyCrazy Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Such a sad beauty in the last verse...
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
That was a painful stanza for me...
Reply
:iconprettycrazy:
PrettyCrazy Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I can imagine - it's a painful stanza to read.
Reply
:iconsylvanheart:
sylvanheart Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2009
Owwwwwww.
That is pain.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah...
Reply
:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
I like that you always present these achingly familiar emotions, but not in a cloyingly archaic way. The internet was a great touch. :)
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Joan. What a lovely compliment. :hug:
Reply
:iconfrazzled-mage:
frazzled-mage Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2009
My heart still leaps and the molten core is a thousand years from cooling....
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Never let it cool, my friend. Burn brightly forever. :hug:
Reply
:iconwolfenfire:
WolfenFire Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2009
Very deep.
Reply
:iconstrange:
strange Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
This is a very good piece,
But also possibly the most depressing thing i've read all day :P
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I'm sorry... I was indeed a bit depressed when I wrote it. :(
Reply
:iconstrange:
strange Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Hehe that's ok, I've had quite an upbeat day so it didn't upset me :)
And as I said it was very good so I can't complain :P
Reply
:iconhell-on-a-stick:
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2009  Professional Writer
ah the journey is half the secret
and the wanting is nearly an eighth
the end is never really there
but just another place to begin.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Very nicely said. :)
Reply
:iconhell-on-a-stick:
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2009  Professional Writer
oh but it was yours! :)
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Student Writer
All eyes are blind with searching :( and yet only searching can bring them sight...go figure :)
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
So true, my buddy...
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Student Writer
It is the privilege of a true buddy to say so :D It is my good fortune to be one of those :D
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Now, we both know I'm the lucky one here. Come on, admit it. :aww:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Student Writer
I am far to stubborn to admit that :) And much too spoiled - I insist on my luck, and that it be mine :D
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I insist that I am most fortunate here, but how about we just call it even? :glomp:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2009  Student Writer
Oh...o.k. :) Even it is :D
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009   Writer
The tone of this is so well managed, it feels like a grey room with a single tiny candle slowly burning it's way through the remaining wax. Softly mournful, a faint hope cooling and hardening.
I love the simple-but-often-too-true irony of the final lines too. How you can be a product of your desires and experiences in seemingly counter-intuitive ways.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
What a wonderfully thoughtful comment. Thank you, Jamie. :hug:
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2009   Writer
My pleasure [=
Reply
:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2009
Boy - do I know how this feels!

Very well written, and expressed Cindy :aww:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. I'm sorry you know how it feels though... :hug:
Reply
:iconspectrumchaser:
Spectrumchaser Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009
:hug:
Reply
:iconswizzlestix41:
swizzleSTIX41 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009
This creates an interesting counterpoint against some of your other poems :) discovery and rejection seem to be two of your biggest themes my firend:D
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Well, having been emotionally disowned by most of my family at one time or another, I know a bit about rejection, and being hung out like that can lead to some interesting discoveries, my buddy. :)
Reply
:iconswizzlestix41:
swizzleSTIX41 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2009
It certainly must :)
Reply
:icontoaakatsuki:
ToaAkatsuki Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazingly emotional. I love it.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:icontuishimi:
Tuishimi Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009
Powerful. All of your poetry is powerful, great imagery in plain English, but in a melodic way. :)
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :hug:
Reply
:iconvertigoart:
VertigoArt Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Professional Writer
A wonderfully tragic piece.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Will. :hug:
Reply
:iconvertigoart:
VertigoArt Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Professional Writer
My pleasure.
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2009   Writer
mournful with a great close.
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Shane.
Reply
:iconkennethsnow:
KennethSnow Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2009  Student Writer
very well done. :clap:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :hug:
Reply
:iconbeyond-the-pages:
Beyond-the-Pages Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconbeyond-the-pages:
Beyond-the-Pages Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconsanaa-h:
sanaa-h Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
dreadful & heartbreaking. :hug:
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009
"Eyes gone blind with searching" is such a trenchant phrase, especially at the climax of such a poignant poem.

(Has the search ended when its futility has been recognised?)
Reply
:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Alec. :hug:

(I suspect the search never ends. What do you think?)
Reply
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