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Submitted on
May 1, 2008
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She’s a mousy little woman
in a mousy little job
with a mousy little husband
and 2.5 mousy little children
in a mousy little house
in a mousy little neighborhood
in a mousy little town,
perfectly in the center of
national averages
in every way.

Hers is a mouse brown world,
a viscous fog which crushes
every spark that threatens
its brownness.

If her eyes ever
open to the colors
of possibility, to the
knowledge of
lives unlived,

she’ll run
mad with
grief.
Not sure where this came from or if it works. Let me know what you think. Thanks.
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:iconisobellefox:
isobellefox Jun 12, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
I like it. I think about stuff like this a lot these days, and you captured the situation perfectly. It is indeed sometimes a mouse brown world.
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 Jun 13, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Some days, it just strikes me how small lives can be, and some people seem satisfied with that. I always wonder if they really are or if they even realize it...
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:iconprosaic-scriptor:
Prosaic-Scriptor May 9, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Lots of mousyness. :D I doubt that's a word.
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 May 10, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
:aww:
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:iconprosaic-scriptor:
Prosaic-Scriptor May 10, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:iconalecbell:
Almost a satirical ballad. (that is definitely satirical, and nodding in the direction of ballad.)

I do agree with your defence of the repetitions. It does give an external and judgmental quality to the piece. In this case no satire without repetition.

I do wonder if the closing assertions might have more force as questions? This would open up the poem to those possibilities you have already mentioned.
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 May 5, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Alec. I haven't been back to this one yet. I'll look at it again with both your and Dave's comments in mind. :hug:
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:icontopfiverecordsinc:
oh it most certainly works! This is great!
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:iconblueskye27:
Blueskye27 May 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Lauren. :hug:
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