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Making Poetry by *Blueskye27:iconBlueskye27:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Mature Romance > Open


I lie in bed on my stomach
reading Bukowski.
The mattress gives,
your hip a pleasant
weight against mine.

I read another poem
but not as closely as before.

You stretch out and
look over my shoulder,
feigning interest, your breath
on my neck a distraction.

I study another poem then
have to start over because
I didn’t quite get it.

My shirt slides upward,
dragging behind, your fingers.
You lay your cheek on my
back, your face a warm,
heavy comfort.

Burning in Water -
the words run together -
Drowning in Flame.

The red volume finds its
way to the floor as
I turn to another kind
of poetry.

Hank would understand
completely.
©2008-2009 *Blueskye27
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Submitted: April 20, 2008
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Author's Comments

Been reading Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame today. But this one's resisted me. Not sure about the title either. Suggestions?

*revised and added italics - let me know if you think that's better or worse. Thanks.
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Comments


~DeadThoughISeemALie:iconDeadThoughISeemALie: Apr 20, 2008, 12:50:57 AM
poetry in motion The motion of poetry liquid poetry Poetry set to Music...lol just a few off the top of my head

--
The reception fades, the signals breaking up. And am I moving on or am I giving up?
~DeadThoughISeemALie:iconDeadThoughISeemALie: Apr 20, 2008, 1:02:17 AM
your welcome...I felt there was one somewhere in my head so iw rote them out...didnt find the exact one though so sadness

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The reception fades, the signals breaking up. And am I moving on or am I giving up?
*Blueskye27:iconBlueskye27: Apr 20, 2008, 1:05:12 AM
It's like that sometimes. I'll have to think about the title a little longer, too. :nod:
~DeadThoughISeemALie:iconDeadThoughISeemALie: Apr 20, 2008, 1:06:24 AM
see unlike how eraser came about this one is a little harder cause the title isnt hidden in the poem somewhere

--
The reception fades, the signals breaking up. And am I moving on or am I giving up?
*Blueskye27:iconBlueskye27: Apr 20, 2008, 1:12:12 AM
Sometimes we just have to give it time to come to us...
*PeterTBexley:iconPeterTBexley: Apr 20, 2008, 1:19:04 AM
"Warm rhythm - no rhyme"
An amazing poem - I love it.
(And I like your sense of priorities.)

--
The light of the body is the eye
~DeadThoughISeemALie:iconDeadThoughISeemALie: Apr 20, 2008, 1:19:22 AM
true....ive had things pop into my heads day later that just fit perfectly

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The reception fades, the signals breaking up. And am I moving on or am I giving up?
*Blueskye27:iconBlueskye27: Apr 20, 2008, 1:21:13 AM
Thank you so much. :hug:

Gotta keep those priorities in order. ;p
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